Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i would one night stand the shit outta him
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
