How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
