I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
