Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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