Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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