I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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