So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
