When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Barsexuality is the new black.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
