the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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