we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
