So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize