Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You ruined the universe
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize