He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Let's paint friendship bongs
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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