those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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