so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
