so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
