We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You should frame my arrest warrant.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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