i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
