You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
