then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize