I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
