Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize