Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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