He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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