Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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