chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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