The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
