i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize