You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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