My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
