the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
