the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
