thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize