This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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