Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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