oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
