So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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