Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
