Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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