I skipped work to stalk him.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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