I like to think it a success when the cops are called
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
