Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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