I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
