Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
is wine microwaveable?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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