You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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