so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
