Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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