in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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