Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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