He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
