Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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