No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
