Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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