Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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