Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize