I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
God I need to hump something, right now.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
