My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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