Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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