I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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