Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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