This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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