maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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