He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
