I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
did you just send me my own nude
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
