Farmville is her only friend.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
