Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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