what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize